Wednesday, October 12, 2011

TALES OF A DOG

Opening scene has an Ad stating “ Smoking is injurious to health”, “do not spit in theatre”, “All Indians are our brothers and sisters”, “All dogs shown in this movie are computer graphics ”


Scene 106:00 AM

Bajana Mandapam – near Trichy situated along NH 45

Situation : it was jus after a heavy rain. The highways douched with mud. Winds howled with a cool breeze with nobody in the visible range on either side of the road, …… except a Dog couple rebuking each other trying to dominate their ego along the road side. The conversation went so hard that a Dog finally went mad and started shouting to its core without realizing that…..(camera zoomed out to a greater height from above such that it covers a larger area ) ..a SETC bus was coming ahead…


Scene 2 – 06:30 AM

A Dog’s IT firm situated in the outskirts of Chennai near NH 45

Dog C: ‘enna try panra Jessie(her nick name). ethuvumey oru periya vishayam illanu prove panna try panriya ? this is unfucking believable ‘

Dog D: ‘ I hate u ‘

Dog C:‘ thank yo’ HHHHHHHHHHHHornn followed by a daaaaaaaaaaaaaaash………………..



Scene3 – 05:45 AM

Bajana Mandapam

Situation: Dog A was busy with its Annual Target Production. While Brahmins as strolling minstrel, singing their bajans in their traditional costume in the auspicious Margali Masam, gave a dirty look at those Dogs.

Dog A: What the hell these homo sapiens need at this moment? Are we disturbing them?

Dog B: Am I mamiyaar or saamiyaar? I am not the dog who took the footage in samiyaar’s bedroom? Why can’t they control their curiosity?

Dog A: shut up u bitch! I am swami’s devotee.

Dog B: hey stop calling me like that you son of a bitch!

Dog A: I heard you *** **like your bro ***

Dog B : your mom ****** Dad ****** , ********

(These censored version went for another 20 twenty minutes as each of their mom, dad, uncle, aunt, brother, sister, cousin, nephew, niece came into picture uninvited)

Brahmins heard no bajan but an incessant cacophonous dog’s bark which made them threw stones. The conversation went so hard that a Dog finally went mad and started shouting to its core without realizing that…..(camera zoomed out to a greater height from above such that it covers a larger area ) ..a SETC bus was coming ahead…Dog A decided to take decision using its sixth sense. Before it could realize dogs do not have sixth sense DDDDDDashh it got hit by the SETC bus at 06:00 AM.


Scene 4 – 06:29 AM

Dog’s It firm

Dog C was assigned with a project by its Project manager.

Target : crossing the NH45

Situation : a tourist bus was heading at 80 kmph which was 20 feet ahead

At present: Dog crossed 5 feet from the source and it was 10 feet behind the destination

Confusion: should it walk backward or proceed forward?

Dog C to PM: Sir obstruction ahead. Unable to achieve the target on time. I reckon we should hold this order and shelve this project right now. Permission to return back

PM: hm.. negative.. proceed forward.

Dog C: but sir? Obstruction is 14 feet ahead. If I start running now at a speed of 25 kmph I can cross the road and reach the target with my life at stake without knowing what is coming on the other side of the road. Else if I make a move backward with a speed of 5 kmph I can be safe. Do u copy that?

PM: ‘ahem’adjusting its neck tie, ‘negative’

(situation was getting worse and Dog C was about to explode in full throttle, meanwhile he heard a sweet bark with inappropriate proportion of love, possessiveness and fear)

Dog D: (in her natty wedding gown) Darling don’t cross the road now! I stopped my marriage. I came for you and I need u for the rest of my life

Dog C: ‘enna try panra Jessie(her nick name). ethuvumey oru periya vishayam illanu prove panna try panriya ? this is unfucking believable ‘

…………(further dialogues were plagiarized from VTV)…………


Dog D: ‘ I hate u ‘

Dog C:‘ thank yo’ HHHHHHHHHHHHornn followed by a daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash………

Scene 5 – 08:00 AM

NH 45 –The same SETC bus coming from Trichy and a tourist bus coming from Chennai collided with each other.



Those were the deleted scenes of Engayum Eppothum. Director decided to cut short the film for a ‘U’ certificate. With the help of kodampakkam leaks I present with these.

Nice love story isn’t?



1 comment: